Monaco Off the Mats

I am sorry to hear that. I know for sure I'd drop everything for a match with ya.

There is a built in system already. It’s the “no show” review. I thing reviews/recs do a lot to help others know I’d someone is trustworthy or not.

Yeah, I know about that. I find when you ask people about that though, they have reasons or sometimes just a bitter opponent so there's no true way of knowing who's at fault (plus, what happens if both parties claim no-show?)

I’d also have quite a bit of change in my pocket if I had a dime…. As a pro I can see that you attract hot wannabe opponents. Maybe it is an ego thing. “I had a chance to wrestle Ben Monaco but I stood him up.” I agree with the previous comment in that blowing such an opportunity is incredibly stupid.

There are two guys on here who have mugged me off several times.

Both I have met before, which adds to my frustration and upset.

The first blocked me, then disappeared and then when he came back on the site I asked him why. He said it was nothing to do with me, he had some stuff going on and I accepted his apology and arranged a match. The day before, he deleted his profile, came back and blocked me again!

The second constantly shifts dates around, is non-committal and generally makes me feel bad about myself.

Ben, don’t make the same mistake. If someone is a no-show, and it’s a no good reason, don’t be a fool like I was and think next time will be any different.

The "deposit" idea works if either guy is travelling any reasonable distance and paying for a hotel room : the travelling guy pays the hotel, second guy pays 50% into first guy's PayPal or bank account.
However, if the first guy then pulls out he can then cancel the room and the second guy has paid for nothing . . . And if the second guy is the traveller, then he has to pay AGAIN for the whole room by himself.
So I can't see any "system" that really works for both guys, unfortunately.
And again : shit happens (legitimately) and can stop a guy from meeting. 🥺
I guess any meeting has a certain element of trust and hope ! ! ! 👍😁

It's happened to all of us, unfortunately.

I will admit to traveling myself for work and talking to a guy once or twice ahead of time about the possibility of meeting up. But then the reality of my business travel schedule hits and I'm not able to meet with anyone at all. Although, I need to say that I have NEVER cancelled a meet that was actually booked.

I've finally learned that if I want to meet up with someone while I'm traveling for work, I need to build in extra time into my trip either before or after so work does not get in the way.

But... I've been cancelled on plenty of times. I don't know what to do about it, because it's happened with guys who are steady reliable members of the site, as well as those newbies with whom we sometimes want to take a chance.

All I can say, Ben, is that anyone who cancels on you is missing out!

I, too, will admit that I've been on both ends of this kind of exchange, and I think we all have stories we'd tell of matches that have fallen through for various reasons.

I've had people talk and chat up until the second I get into the city where I'm staying and suddenly they go radio silent. I've had times where I've thought I'd had time, but didn't end up having as much flexibility as I thought. I've had one where he texted me a bunch of times while I was at lunch with a friend, and then by the time I'd returned his texts, he was so irate and calling me a flake and a fake that he wouldn't meet with me and blocked me. That was fun.

So, I think we can all be both understanding and responsible in the way we treat one another. Plus, I know at least a couple of times the disappearances were people who really hadn't met for matches before and they maybe got freaked out about it or had second thoughts but weren't willing to just say it. I hate being ghosted though. That is the worst. So don't do it. If you're not comfortable meeting, just say so. I'd much rather have that than think I'm getting a match and sometimes even choose to stay somewhere BECAUSE I think I have a match set up, and then have radio silence. And, because the chatting and set up takes time, I'd really like the matches to happen.

• • Désolé, j'écris mon commentaire en français. ***

Je suis comme toi là-dessus. Je me bat pour le fun et le plaisir que ça me procure. Je fais en sorte que mon adversaire a autant de plaisir à me confronter dans cette petite rivalité. Ça fait quoi, 1 an que je suis ici. J'ai eu 4 matchs sérieux sur je sais plus combien de match demandé ou défié. Je sais que la boxe n'intéresse pas grand monde. Je sais aussi que la plupart du monde ici c'est de la lutte. Mais, moi, c'est ma passion première. J'ai déjà fait de la lutte, mais c'est pas ce que je désire le plus. Certain comprennent, d'autre insiste un peu trop.

Je dis toujours que le respect ça commence au "bonjour" et avoir une bonne communication. Si tu es pas intéressé, dis-le. Ne laissez pas un message sans réponse. Ou bien, quand t'envoi un message à quelqu'un qui est présentement en ligne et te répond le lendemain ou quand tu es hors ligne. Comme si la personne ne voulait pas te répondre quand tu es online. Come on!.

Si vous ne voulez pas affronter personne, svp, mettez-vous en mode SPECTATEUR. Ne donnez pas de rendez-vous à quelqu'un. Quand vous savez très bien que vous allez jamais l'affronter.
Respectez les autres! Respectez vos rendez-vous! Respectez les règles établies.

Pas besoin d'excuses pour le commentaire en français mon beau 😊

Merci Ben!

Disons ton commentaire m'a venu me chercher. Il fallait que je me vide le coeur un peu. 😅

Perhaps because you’re just that intimidating;) I would’ve fought you, but In the past, my body dysmorphia would make me too shy or insecure to message you. Hopefully, I want one of those 5

I was very disappointed when you cancelled on me Ben, the morning of our fight.
( as I'm sure you understand)

What? When was this exactly? Also, have we ever spoken before?

It was several years ago, probably 2015.
I think we exchanged a few messages leading up to my vist.
I am not being critical it happens, (you asked for people's views).

Absolutely no memory of this unfortunately. If we had set a specific time and date, I would have only canceled in the event of a truly insurmountable issue.

I agree with you about the questionable assistance the ability to post a no-show flag on a profile provides. Often the bad guy will post an identical flag on your profile, and you are harmed by his no-show as much as he is. I understand the site can't act as an arbitrator, listen to both sides, and decide which flag stays and which is removed. I suppose that might be technically feasible, a message trail would reflect the commitment and the fact the apology/excuse was not sent prior to the agreed upon meeting time. Excuses made before the agreed upon meeting time, no way to police those. But there are questions of legal liability if the site did anything beyond what it does now, so I understand there is a legitimate reason for their policy. A couple of guys have done something that might help a little. When the offender retaliates by posting a flag on your profile, you apparently are permitted to describe the incident in question in detail in your profile. I say "apparently" because I have no way of knowing if the site disciplined the guys who did that.

I was just in Toronto for a few days, and had set up 4 matches with guys from MF and all showed up on time as promised. Cheers Toronto! They were all great matches also.

What sort of idiot would refuse to wrestle the great Ben Monaco ?

I've been on both ends if this deal. I am as angry with myself when I've had to cancel as I have been with those who ghosted me...
I do pay attention to the reviews of those that are accused of a no show and the value I place on it is influenced by if the wrestler has had many matches or no matches. ...who they met with also plays a factor.

How do u post a no show? I've had no reviews as yet but have left one. I've had 3 that didn't reply on the day of meeting. I can't leave a flagged review as I have no reviews myself

Can we also discuss the guys who suddenly get sick on the day you are supposed to meet? I know, it happens. We all get sick occasionally and it can interrupt plans. It can also be a convenient excuse to bail on a commitment to get together leaving the other person with little recourse but to wonder if the other guy was actually sick. I mean you can't be mad or post a no show on someone who was actually sick, right?. I recently messaged back & forth with someone who agreed to get together. This past weekend, I drove 4 hours to where he lives and got a hotel. We were supposed to meet that evening, but I got a message on the drive down that he wasn't feeling well and might cancel. I decided to keep going even tho my spidey sense told me this was his way of bailing. I got there, messaged him and he was too sick to get together that evening, but check in the next day. I spent the night, messaged the next day and he was still too sick to get together. I was supposed to stay another day but decided to cut my losses and go back home. Then the next day, I check his instagram and he has made a miraculous recovery and is out hiking. Maybe he was only sick those 2 days I was in town. Maybe I'm just a cynic for doubting him. I do know that he didn't know I had left early and yet didn't message me the day he made his recovery for us to get together that day. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure I know what happened. I just wish the guys that pull this stuff would consider the time, expense and yes, emotional toll this kind of behavior has on the other person.